Spouse chooses family over husband, comforting an adult child after ending a relationship

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Ask Mary Jo

Questions this week focus on how to reconnect with a spouse who is connected to her parents for love and support, and how a worried mother can help her daughter through a heartbreak. Both questions offer an opportunity for developing a richer and more intimate relationship with a spouse and a daughter. When we look at problems as potential for building a better and more intimate marriage or mother-daughter relationship, we become the best spouse/mother we can be. Many times problems are what we need to bring us closer to the one we love.

Dear Mary Jo,

It's been one year. My spouse lied and talked negative about me to her family/friends behind my back. I may not be a good husband, but I am honest, loyal and I always communicate to sort things out, but she doesn't. She defends her family even though they're wrong. I have no idea how to continue in this relationship if I can't trust her behind my back. She runs to them and takes their side instead of supporting me. What should I do?

Thanks,

DJ

Dear Mary Jo,

My 19-year-old daughter is going through a breakup and she is taking it hard. She is not eating and is crying all the time. I have no idea how to comfort her because she keeps saying I don't understand. Can you help me?

Thanks,

Worried Mom