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Drama Llama: Personalities to avoid
No one wants drama in your relationships. But what if it's those you surround yourself with who are the problem? Psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini shares five drama personalities you’ll want to avoid.
Are there people you’re around that make you feel as though you’re being cast for a reality show? They react to everything with intense dramatic behavior, including childish, loud, or aggressive behavior that seems out of line with the situation?
When you’re a magnet for dramatic people you often walk on eggshells. You find yourself drained after 15 minutes of being around them and everything seems urgent and in crisis mode.
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This negativity is dangerous for our mental health and being around dramatic personalities can rob you of your energy as well as your patience.
Since we all must endure drama sometimes, it may sneak into your life, and you may not be aware of it until you begin feeling exhausted and questioning if you too are one of those people creating drama in other’s lives. Below are specific drama personalities you’ll want to avoid.
- Entitled drama. If you’ve been raised by doting parents and growing up thinking the world owes you because of who you are, your drama is especially distasteful in the real world. If you grew up never being held accountable, you end up creating chaos in relationships whenever someone tells you no or sets firm boundaries. Being in a relationship with them feels like you’re constantly caring for a toddler.
- The emotional moocher drama. These people are emotional vampires. They suck your ability to be positive by expressing sadness, negativity, pessimism, and criticism. They have a way of bringing everyone down, and if you are in a happy mood, they have tactics that will bring you down. Being around them makes you tired, stressed out and sad.
- The jealous judger drama. Jealous people act dramatic because they carry self-hate which makes it painful for them to be happy for others. Their jealousy often manifest in criticism and gossip about others. They find ways to label people who threaten them as clueless, weird, or lacking in some way. If you hear someone gossip about someone else, be careful because it’s highly likely they are talking about you behind your back as well.
- The chaotic drama magnet. These people create a cloud of drama wherever they go. They thrive on chaos because their life feels empty without it. When times are peaceful and harmonious, drama magnets feel left out and alone, and therefore stir up problems that often don’t exist. The key to managing these magnets is not to react, don’t let their problem become yours.
- The conversationalist controller drama. You’ll know this type because they interrupt when you are talking and want to control everything you say and do. They love talking about themselves and although they aren’t very interested in what you say, they do feel terrified of losing you. In a relationship they smother you and you cannot get physical or emotional space. The best way to achieve not being trapped with one is to make and stick to strong personal boundaries.
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When you first begin dating someone it’s a good idea to watch how they react and respond to others as well as you. Drama personalities can be contained until the person gets comfortable with you, but then it’s often too late to avoid them.
Keep your eyes open and listen and if your gut feels uneasy, it’s a good idea to heed the warnings. Thinking you can change a dramatic personality with logic and understanding is your first mistake; toxic personalities don’t change easily.
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