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Post-wedding depression: What causes it and how to cope
Psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini explains what "post-wedding depression" is and how to cope. She says placing emphasis on your marriage together rather than the wedding day itself is going to be helpful, as well as these five other suggestions.
Weddings have become huge events in our society. They are planned extensively with binders and Excel tables and venues are booked months or even years in advance. The pandemic affected many couples in 2020 and some are planning on even larger venues for 2021. With all the preparation and excitement, it’s easy to get lost in the whirlwind of wedding day bliss. However, a new phenomenon is unfolding with weddings and that is the post-wedding day depression.
Post-wedding day depression is real and preparing yourself for feeling down the weeks and possibly months following your wedding day can help minimize the effects. While getting married is a journey between you and your spouse, it’s crucial to also keep your life full of friends and everyday experiences to avoid the emptiness you may feel when the honeymoon trip, parties, and planning is over. Placing emphasis on your marriage together rather than the wedding day itself is going to be helpful as well as these five other suggestions.
1. Make note of your feelings. It’s normal to feel a little bit let down after experiencing such an exciting time, but are your feelings actually boredom and not depression? Are you feeling regret over your partner choice, or do you feel a void in losing a part of yourself? Talking about these feelings or journaling about them can help you resolve them.
2. Focus on creating a new hobby or project that will benefit the two of you. What creative juices have you always had but never took the time for? Candlelight dinners, taking small day trips together, and learning to cook a new cuisine are options to explore. It can help you change your perspective from feeling empty to feeling unlimited in creating a marriage you both love.
3. Spend time with family and friends who embrace your marriage. Finding other supportive and well-adjusted married couples helps you feel connected. They also are a good support system to share struggles with that come up in the early years of marriage.
4. Pre-marital counseling is good, but post-marital counseling is better. Sometimes what you’re feeling isn’t something you can share with your partner. Talking to a therapist can help you understand your feelings so you can communicate it in a way that will bring you even closer to your partner.
5. Give yourself time. Post-marriage depression does happen, and many couples struggle with the feeling of letdown after their big day. Accept these feelings as part of being human instead of denying them. Marriage is a transition; although the wedding day is filled with excitement and attention, the fact that you found someone to share your life with is the most important part of the celebration.
The wedding day was one day, but your marriage is forever. There is so much living and loving left to do. Feel and accept your melancholy feelings but allow them to be overcome by your daily commitment and gratitude for your spouse.