Lover more like 'roommate' & finding mature man willing to commit

By Mary Jo Rapini
Published  December 5, 2016 10:52am CST
FOX 26 Houston
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Hi Mary Jo,

My name is Andrew. I’ve been with this person for five years and, lately, it’s been more like a roommate. Do you know if there’s a way to change that? 

Andrew, many relationships have difficulty keeping the spark alive. No matter how easily you fell in love, you need to communicate and work to keep that spark alive.  Talk to your partner openly and honestly. Make sure you’re both sharing a vision of what you want together for the relationship and then put it into action. Here are quick and easy ways to put romance back into your relationship.

  1. Try something new. Plan a trip or a date that’s adventurous for both of you. If you can’t get out of town, take a new class or develop a new interest you can share.
  2. What makes you feel loved? What about your partner? Talking about your love language can help immensely with communication. A simple book to read together is the 5 Languages of Love by Gary Chapman.
  3. Make sure you’re spending time away from each other too. Losing your identity to another person is the primary reason for feeling like roommates or siblings rather than a loving couple. 

Hey Mary Jo,

I’m Hazel and have a ten year old son. How do I find a mature man to date who isn’t afraid to commit?

Dear Hazel, What you’re looking for is an emotionally mature man, which means there is no age restriction. Knowing the signs of an emotionally mature man will help you be successful. Words alone aren’t honest so you’re looking for actions.

  1. He’s decisive. He knows what he wants and how to express himself emotionally. 
  2. He has a purpose in life greater than himself.
  3. He takes responsibility for his actions and isn’t a whiner or complainer.
  4. He has close friendships and takes relationships seriously.

You’ll be more likely to find a man with these qualities if you get involved with activities you love. They’re attracted to other’s interests. Since he values relationships, he’ll be easier to find through friends of a friend. The more real you are the more you’ll attract an emotionally mature man.