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How learning ‘womanese’ enhances communication with your partner
Psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini says men and women communicate differently and learning to accept and understand these differences enhances relationships.
Men and women communicate differently and learning to accept and understand these differences enhances relationships. Some men are better than others when it comes to talking with and understanding women. In general, most men filter out unrelated information while women focus on details. Women generally multitask better while men tend to focus intensely on one task.
How couples feel when they talk to each other can either unite or isolate. Most of us have witnessed women chatting minute details to their partner while he looks far off into space. Even though her partner may adore her, his inability to understand the way she communicates – "womanese" – leaves them both feeling disconnected. Below are ways you can tune into your wife and improve closeness and intimacy.
1. When she asks a question, it’s important to have an answer. Women understand that guys with answers care. The best thing you can tell a woman if you don’t know something is, "I’ll look it up," or "I’ll think about it." Women relax when her man says, "I’ve got this."
2. Women are processing more than just your words. Women are sensitive to body language and tone. If you want to make changes in the relationship, consider the way you may come across. Reassure her first that you’re happy in the relationship but would like to change a couple of things. Women like a plan, so be prepared to discuss your plan.
3. Women love to be asked open-ended questions. Many men feel guarded or defensive when questioned. However, most women take questions as a sign of interest; as long as you’re not interrogating her, she feels loved. Remember, it’s the conversation that matters most here, so keep the questions open-ended.
4. Empathizing is more important than fixing a problem. No matter how illogical or ridiculous your wife’s upsetting situation seems, empathize instead of trying to fix it. Women often process their situation and feelings by talking about them first.
5. Women want men who will defend and respect them. Trying to keep peace by not defending your wife or girlfriend in conversations or from your family makes your partner feel devalued and disrespected.
Men and women’s natural way of viewing the world is complimentary to both. Most women don’t want men to act or be like them but being able to communicate with each other enhances connection and intimacy in healthy relationships.