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5 ways to fund your ‘love bank’
Psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini says relationships are about giving and receiving, and whether you deposit love or take withdrawals, it shows up in the emotional health of your family.
When we talk about the condition of our bank accounts, it’s usually about financial concerns. Many are currently struggling with their finances and employment status. However, there is another type of investment we rarely talk about and that is your investment in supportive relationships.
Relationships are about giving and receiving; whether you deposit love or take withdrawals, it shows up in the emotional health of your family. Over time if you have been withdrawing more than depositing, your partner will begin reacting. Harsh words, sleepless nights, increased conflict, loneliness, and resentment are all signs that you and your partner are running low on your account balance. If you feel as though you and your partner have both been making too many withdrawals, taking these simple actions will deposit enough love that you can open a savings account.
1. Acknowledge how you feel and share your concerns with your partner. When couples feel stressed and criticized, it’s a response to the way they feel their partner is treating them. When you communicate your concerns up front, you avoid blaming them.
2. Carve out 30 minutes each day for couple time. Shut off your screens, talk about your day without venting, and find something to laugh about.
3. Find any reason to celebrate your love. The pandemic is stressful but don’t let it rob your joy in each other. No matter what happened today, find a reason to celebrate. Something as trivial as the dog not making a mess is a reason to celebrate.
4. Be especially attentive to transitions. Most couple’s conflict happens during transitions. Being aware of little things, such as saying goodbye and greeting each other warmly at day’s end, make a big deposit into your love bank funds.
5. Remind your partner frequently of your love. Little acts of gratefulness and kindness remind your partner that they are cherished. Remind them how you’re glad to be on their team.
You can have the largest bank account and be well diversified in stocks and bonds, but unless you continue to prioritize the love of your partner and make deposits into your love bank, you will be financially wealthy but lonely and disconnected in love.