5 types of friends who are bad for your marriage

Friends are important to the health of your relationship. Honest friendships bring out the best in us and are loyal to us and our partners. Friends who stand by you want what’s best for your marriage and they help you see your partner’s side when you get in a rut of only thinking about yourself. However, some friends don’t have your best interest at heart and the more you surround yourself with them, the more jaded and insensitive you can grow toward your partner. The people with whom we choose to spend our time shapes our values, commitments and faithfulness to our partner.

Relationship experts caution couples to be aware of toxic friends who exploit or see the worst in our partner. I have listed five friends of whom to be wary. Guard your marriage from being influenced by these types.

1. The type of friend who is unhappy in their own marriage. Friends who aren’t happy in marriage and aren’t respectful or loyal to their partner. Hanging out with friends who believe marriage is simply a legal document may not value their vows or the sacrifices necessary to create a healthy marriage. Their negativity and disrespect may rub off on you if you spend a lot of time socializing with them.

2. Friends who talk badly about your partner. When friends look for the negative or bad things about your partner, they can make their faults become more your focus. No one is perfect, and when you look for someone’s faults you find them. Stand up for your partner when they talk badly about your partner and let them know it’s not okay. Try to find friends who focus on your partner’s strengths, and you’ll begin appreciating them more too.

3. Friends who talk badly about their partner. When friends constantly trash talk their partner, it becomes more difficult to spend time together, and their disrespect makes you feel as though you’re being disrespectful for not saying something. If you socialize with friends who don’t honor and respect their partner in front of you, imagine how badly they treat each other when they are home alone. Your marriage deserves to be surrounded by supportive friends who treat their spouse with respect, so they can model for you what a healthy respectful relationship looks like. Call your friends out when they talk badly about their partner. Healthy marriages see each other’s strengths and weaknesses and accept the person as who they are without judgment.

4. Friends who compare your marriage with others. Comparing yourself to anyone is never a good idea, and when someone who is supposed to be a friend compares you or your partner to someone in a negative way that’s an insult to both of you. Tell your friend you’d appreciate it if they accept you for who you are and quit comparing. Most comparisons are based on false information. Creating a healthy marriage, you love doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.

5. The jealous clinger friend. Friends who want to be with you 24/7 and invite themselves over all the time are difficult for a marriage. These friends may have daily drama for which they need your help, and it’s difficult for couples to maintain healthy boundaries with them. Couples need time alone, so talk directly to your clinger friend and set firm boundaries. Having your friend with you all the time limits intimacy between you and your spouse and this is dangerous for your marriage.

We need friends to support us in our marriage. It’s wonderful to have a variety of friends from different cultures and upbringings. However, be alert to friends who disrespect their partner or marriage and limit your time with them. Divorces are contagious and just because someone says they’re your friend, doesn’t mean they are a friend to your marriage. Your relationship should always be a priority to your friends.